Couple In Bedroom Dissatisfied With Sex Life

Question: I am a 34-year-old married woman. We seemingly have a great marriage but I am extremely dissatisfied with the sexual relationship between my husband and me. My problem starts in the bedroom at night.

My husband will usually have a couple of drinks with his dinner after which we retire to bed. He prides himself on his great sex drive and will want sex every night. He often boasts of the sexual relationships that he had before we got married. However, no sooner does sex start than it is over. As soon as he ejaculates, he starts to snore. In all my years of marriage, I have waited in vain for an orgasm. Is this all there is to sex? When I ask my husband, his answers make me feel that good women do not have, nor should want to have orgasms or even sexual satisfaction. Of course, he also apologises once in a while for his lack of control, but he attributes this to his business worries. I am tempted so often to go out and have an affair to see if things can be different, but I guess I do not have the guts to do so. Please tell me what I should do.

Answer: Noise proves nothing.

Often a hen that has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid. Your husband seems to bear a resemblance to that hen! Please accept my sympathies. I wish I could apologise for the selfish and chauvinistic attitude of so many Indian males one sees or encounters almost daily. This species obviously considers themselves to be God’s gift to woman kind. For how else could one remain so blissfully unaware of his partner’s needs! Going out and having an affair with another of this breed will do nothing but increase your frustration. And, truthfully, you have no way of knowing about a stranger’s sexual prowess anyway. It would be better for you to become more assertive sexually with your hubby and let him know your needs. Make him realise that other ways exist for him to bring you to an orgasm. All the best!

Source:timesofindia.com

Sex In Hot Water

Question: I am a 26 year-old woman, married about six months ago. My husband and I are wonderfully compatible and have a great sex life as well. However, there is one question that keeps troubling us as we like making love under the shower.

Is having sex in a hot shower or in a tub filled with hot water safe? Does it kill a man’s sperms. That would mean that no contraception is required. Is this correct?

Answer: Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion unless you have other plans. However, for hot water sex to be pregnancy-proof is a new one!! No, having sex in a hot shower, a hot tub, or in any kind of watery environment does not protect against either pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections, for that matter. The fact of the matter is this. A man’s external sexual organs consist of the penis and the scrotum.

The scrotum, the pouch that contains a pair of testes, maintains the testes at a temperature approximately five degrees less than the rest of the body. This function is important to fertility because the process of sperm production is heat sensitive. In hot temperatures, the muscles in the scrotum relax, and the testes move away from the heat of the body. Conversely, in cold temperatures, the muscles of the scrotum contract so that the testes can maintain their 5-degree temperature difference by coming closer to the body.

The increase in temperature caused by sitting in a hot tub can indeed interfere with normal sperm production, but not enough to be considered an effective form of birth control. Men with fertility problems are usually told to avoid hot tubs or saunas. For men with normal fertility, using a condom or another form of birth control is preferable to not using any protection at all.

Source:thetimesofindia.com

How Long Can You Last Without Sex

How long can you last without intercourse, before abstinence starts negatively influencing and affecting your overall health?

How well do you know your “sexual watch”? How well can you interpret your “need” for having sex?

Can this need be calmed and oppressed just by the tender gestures of your partner or do you need an entire sexual “show” to feel completely satisfied? Since most people do not ask themselves these kind of questions, there are often conflicts due to the difference between the behaviour and the sexual needs of everyone.

What are your priorities?
Sex is, undoubtedly, a necessity of the body, based on two coordinates: reproduction and the tendency to socialize, to permanently cooperate with those around us. Survival on long periods of time is based to humans’ abilities to live in groups, which involves the birth of relations, more or less lasting or enjoyable. Most times, one of the options regarding celebrating or making an inter-human relationship official is the sexual act itself.

Man Woman Whispering Sex Relationship

How is your body saying you need to have sex?
It might be easy to overlook your body’s signals regarding the need to have sex, because many times you associate them to other problems which you probably have to deal with on a daily basis. The best way is to observe which and how many negative moods go away immediately after having sex. Keep in mind the fact that sex does not always involve two people, in other terms, consider masturbation an option.

Must-have-sex signals
- Excessive nervousness
- Long states of unjustified anxiety, migraines
- Permanent stress
- Lack of food appetite
- Lack of the need to sleep
- Contradictory feelings regarding certain persons
- Frequent sexual fantasies, especially during nighttime.

Practically, a non-existing sexual life causes a lot of reactions, more or less explicable, and in some extreme cases it can lead to severe physical and philological reactions: skin itches, irritations, anger etc. You could end up hurting the ones beside you, emotionally or even physically, because you did not “read” one of your body’s cries for help.

Once you fully and completely understand your body’s message: “I need sex!” it will be a lot easier for you to identify the time periods these unpleasant symptoms occur. If you manage to do this, you will also be able to prevent them. Of course, these intervals vary from person to person, and they are dependent to certain factors, such as age, sex, lifestyle, physical condition, pregnancy, menopause etc.

All in all, make sure you take some time and really analyze yourself and your body, your needs and your desires, and that way you will manage to understand the course of action you have to take so that everything returns on its’ right normal “path” again.

Source:timesofindia.com

All Men Watch Porn

Naturally all blokes don’t watch pornography, but when scientists recently launched a search in Canada for men who had never looked at such sexually explicit material  believe it or not, they couldn’t find any.
In fact, an international team was conducting a study comparing the views of men in their 20s who had never been exposed to pornography with regular users. But, their project stumbled at the first hurdle when they failed to find a single man who had not been seen it.

“We started our research seeking men in their 20s who had never consumed pornography. We couldn’t find any,” The Daily Telegraph quoted the team’s leader Prof Simon Louis Lajeunesse as saying.

Although hampered in its original aim, the study examined the habits of those young men who used pornography — which would appear to be all of them.

The team interviewed 20 heterosexual male university students who consumed pornography, and found on average, they first watched pornography when they were 10 years old.

Around 90 per cent of consumption was on the internet, while 10 per cent of material came from video stores. Single men watched pornography for an average of 40 minutes, three times a week, while those in relationships watched it 1.7 times a week for around 20 minutes.

Source:thetimesofindia.com

Sex During Pregnancy

My wife is three months pregnant. Is it okay for us to have sex? I feel embarrassed to ask our family doctor. We are avoiding sexual contact; but I do feel the urge for sex. What do we do?
This is one of the most common questions posed by couples expecting their first child. Their lack of knowledge regarding the correct method, timing and frequency cause varied misconceptions and at times, a total withdrawal from sex. This often backfires, as the woman, owing to her psychological state and emotional needs, fails to understand the behavioural changes in her partner. Here’s what to expect.

Emotions on high
During pregnancy, a woman’s mental make-up undergoes a dramatic change. She becomes emotional and sometimes oversensitive. The way her needs are acknowledged (or dismissed) affects her mental state and thereby the foetus as well. If she feels that her husband is not adequately responsive, she may get irritable, and suffer from insomnia,loss of appetite or over-stimulated hunger.

Most men are unaware that their behaviour often causes these emotional upheavals. Many take the easy way out and take their wife to the doctor, without realising that she simply needs her husband to understand her moods, feelings and anxieties.

Discrepancy in sex drives
The changes taking place in the mother-to-be are part of her biological make-up. Hormonal and chemical changes prepare her for conception, pregnancy and childbearing. The awareness that she is pregnant creates new aspirations and sexual relations go down the priority ladder.

There is, however, no such biological change in the man. He needs to make himself aware of the physical and emotional demands of fatherhood, but continues to feel the urge for intercourse. In such a situation, it is essential that he does not force this one-sided need on his pregnant wife.

Couple Pregnant

For intercourse
Though a woman may not have strong sexual urges, she does need warm and gentle physical contact and caressing. In the process, if she is aroused and willing, they can have intercourse too. However…
Avoid the missionary (man-superior) position. Woman on top position is advisable, or they both could be in a sitting position, so that there is no pressure on her abdomen and that movement is gentle.

- The ‘spoon position’ is also recommended. The position is when the couple lie on their sides, their legs bent upwards, both facing in the same direction, with the man behind the woman. It is called the ‘spoon’ position because it is like two spoons, one nestling inside the other. This is a very ‘gentle’ position as neither partner is putting any weight on the other, and it is particularly good for making love to a pregnant woman.

Watch out for
If, during missionary position, the man is on the top, his weight bears down on the woman, and without his realisation, the movements can become rough. This, in turn, can disturb the foetus.

Intercourse should be avoided from the sixth to the twelfth week of the pregnancy, as it can cause miscarriage. Sexual abstinence is recommended during the last two months of pregnancy as well. At this time, if one indulges in sexual intercourse, there is risk of the essential amniotic fluid leaking out, causing complications.

During the fourth to seventh month of pregnancy, intercourse is allowed unless you are otherwise advised for medical reasons.

Sexual acts such as oral and anal sex should be avoided.

Word of caution
During pregnancy, a woman does not retain her shapely figure. It is possible that the man may be sexually drawn to other women. In fact, men are often tempted to indulge in extra-marital affairs during this time. A woman’s needs during pregnancy undergo a major transition. It’s certainly not right, if the husband, instead of understanding this change, enters a relationship outside marriage.

This can be dealt with if the man is equally involved with the pregnancy. In fact, the couple can create deeper bonds during this period. Being present during sonograph sessions, choosing the baby’s name, his/her new clothes, etc can help men grow in their new role.

Source:thetimesofindia.indiatimes.com

Couple Fun First Night

Question : I am a 23-year- old girl and will be getting married soon. However, I am getting increasingly worried about the sexual relationship that marriage will bring with it.

Since I have never been in any relationship before, most of my doubts about sex have been clarified by my friends. But my biggest concern is that if my husband forces me to have sex on our first night together, I will not be ready for it. Tell me, is it essential for the marriage to be consummated on the first night itself ?

Answer: Most of the people I have known consummated their marriage several days after they were married. Of course, that is if they hadn’t done so before the wedding day itself ! In today’s world, in which pre-marriage festivities go on for several days, if not weeks, the newly-weds are probably sleeping together even before they hit the suhaag raat bed.

Postmarriage, it is only when all the tiredness and fatigue of the wedding ceremonies have eased off that the couple gets into the mood. However, if the first few encounters are not pleasurable enough, these will probably leave a negative impact on the psyche.

Here’s a message for all those out there who are about to hit the nuptial sack: Consummate at ease, or repent at leisure! Sex or making love can be the source of so much pleasure, provided a few clumsy, hasty, pain-filled strokes at the outset don’t leave any kind of negative mark on the psyche of any of the two participants. My clinic cupboards are full of case histories of couples who thought that the suhaag raat was make or break day when the butterflies had to be set free.

And they were finally presented with vaginismus or erectile dysfunction/impotence because of their unseemly haste.

Source:thetimesofindia.indiatimes.com

Wife Want Sex

Question: I am a 42-year-old man, well educated and city bred. I have been married for two years. My wife is 21-years-old from a small town and not well educated.

As this was an arranged marriage between old family friends, I didn’t mind. My wife wants sex all the time, and at least 3-4 times daily, apart from the night. At times I have woken up from sleep to find her on top of me.

She is not interested in working, either outside or inside the house. I have been managing the servants too. All day she is busy chatting with the neighbours and once when I overheard her, it was again all about sex. Is this normal behaviour? It is definitely not what I had expected. So much of over-indulgence only in sex may be okay now, but what will happen 5-10 years down the line if she has no other interests?

Answer:

I don’t think anyone has ever been able to quantify what a ‘normal’ sex drive is or what should be considered the normal frequency of lovemaking. So, probably anything goes, as long as it does not interfere with the rest of your life. In your particular case, the huge age gap is responsible to a large extent for the difference in perceptions regarding sex. And if you are managing to keep up the pace with your young wife, why then, you must surely be congratulated.

Even though there is a part of you that is rationalising the entire thing. Obviously, the flesh is willing even though the spirit is not! Meanwhile, instead of condemning this attitude and behaviour of hers, it would be better to let her discover all the joys and pleasures of physical gratification.

And like all other good things in life, this too just might be unable to sustain itself. Thereby putting to rest your fears and apprehensions regarding the future. As for finding her on top of you, I am sure that is a welcome deviation from the routine and often-drab missionary variety! No?

Source:thetimesofindia.indiatimes.com

Couple Fall Asleep After Having Sex

Is it normal for a partner to fall asleep just after having sex, and does the fatigue sometimes lasts for more than 24 hours? What can I do to make him more resistant? Many women still seek the answers to these questions. Is it abnormal to fall asleep after intercourse? Not at all.

The tiredness that appears after intercourse is a natural reaction of the human body to the effort it has made.

But most times, if a man does not cuddle up with his woman after he has had sex, and if he does not talk and if he simply lays on his back and goes to sleep, it is natural for a woman to jump to conclusions, thinking her partner is simply not satisfied.

Their beliefs are wrong. Here are some real reasons men fall asleep after intercourse:

Man And Women Asleep After Having Sex

Fact #1 Sex during the night, especially when the human body is already tired, becomes the first argument for the state of sleepiness that occurs after having sex. The actual intercourse does not even have to be very ‘solicitating’. You should keep in mind that sex, by its nature, is very relaxing.

Fact # 2 Men ejaculate during orgasm, and the hormones that are set free induce the state of lethargy. The sleep sensation manifests more intensely than on a regular basis. Even if the tension of the body is a positive one, it is also a very big, almost exhausting one.

Fact # 3 Plenty of people tend to hold their breath from time to time while they are having sex. Its rhythm becomes abrupt and the pulse intensifies. Therefore, there is a lack of oxygen, which contributes to the need to rest – nothing serious, everything comes back to normality in the postlude.

Fact # 4 The state of sleep should be interpreted in a positive way, because it proves the fact that you have reached an orgasm and that everything has gone alright. In rare cases, men who are exhausted during and after intercourse, on a longer period of time may suffer from medical problems. In this case, leave your inhibitions and self-pride aside and have a complete check-up.

Quick tip # 1 If you are looking for a quick solution, drink coffee before going to bed with your partner. We cannot say that it is a long-term solution, but it is also an effective erotic stimulus. Caffeine can be your main ally in the fight against tiredness; but it can also harm as it can affect the nervous system, making one over excited and under revved.

Quick tip # 2 Really refreshing is a citrus, especially a grapefruit, very cold, right from the fridge. At the opposite pole we find alcohol. Do not use it in large quantities; its effect is exactly the opposite.

On the other hand, women’s bodies react different; for them the sensations during an orgasm are a stimulus. They could be more willing to go for a second ‘round’. But still, what can women do to make men more resistant? Don’t worry, as men being men, ‘refill’ themselves!

Source:thetimesofinida.indiatimes.com

Overweight Women With Big Boobs

Question: I have heard that once a woman starts having sex regularly, she gains weight on her breasts and hips. Is this true? Iam getting married soon. Please advise.

Answer: It is a very popular belief that women gain weight on their breasts and hips once they start making love. However, this is an absolute myth.

Does Regular Sex Make Women Fat

There is no physiological reason why the breasts or hips should become enlarged or disfigured after a woman starts having sex. There is no way that ejaculated semen can get digested and assimilated in the bloodstream. And, in any case, 2–3 ml of semen (average ejaculation) contains only about 15 calories!

Some studies do suggest that people gain weight after marriage. But even these unconfirmed reports say that this is true for both women as well as men.

And the weight gain has nothing to do with sex for either gender. It’s often the comfort of being in a relationship and the associated sense of security that make people gain weight. Studies also show that people in relationships are likely to eat more than single people. If you want to avoid gaining weight after marriage, exercise regularly and maintain a healthy diet.

Source:thetimesofindia.indiatimes.com

Can Sex Toys Condoms Cause Infection

Question: Can the use of sex toys, tampons or condoms cause vaginal infection? What are its symptoms?
Answer: Bacterial infection in the vagina is not uncommon. There are cases of fungal infection too. Itchiness, soreness, any discharge other than white or menstrual and a fishy smell are symptoms of vaginal infection.

Since, condoms are quality tested, sterilised and sealed, they don’t cause infection. When using tampons, check the brand. Unseal a tampon just before using so that it is not exposed to bacteria. Change your tampon frequently, depending on the amount of bleeding.

Since sex toys are foreign bodies being inserted into your vagina, they can cause infection. Always clean and sterilise them before using. The material of the sex toy is also important. It shouldn’t be made of hard or toxic materials.

Source:thetimesofindia.indiatimes.com